Curvy Nounzie

Ok, so my son Ahmad and I have technically been in confinement for over a month and a half - I lost count!
As an autism mom, I am used to spending a lot of time at home, but in this case, I am really missing the daily outings. The only person from this family of three going out is Mr. Baba, a.k.a. the hubby, mainly to take out the trash or to get groceries (check out part one of the series in case you missed it)

A few days ago, I moved my laptop from my cute office space leaving my #CURVES light box and my inspirational "be kind, think kind, stay kind" frame to go enjoy the my couch in the comfort of our living room. Since Instagram exceptionally enabled the option to watch instalives from computers and laptops, I have been watching my favorite bloggers, and every now and then, I would pop in my husband's instalives. Always entertaining and continuous! Never a dull moment in our home, that's for sure. Once a radio host, always a radio host, no matter the circumstances. Honestly, I am happy that he is keeping busy. This confinement has inspired many ideas and initiatives for us to pursue. For me, one of these ideas was to get back to writing on my blog; and even though I haven't been as active as I would like to be, I did start and that makes me very happy.

It is 8:30 PM and I am sipping on my coffee from a pink 'Love Potion' ban.do mug and I am just reflecting on everything that has been going on, up to this point. Believe it or not, with my husband working from home now and already having numerous daily tasks I need to do with Ahmad, and cooking, and cleaning, I must say, I have a lot on my plate. But I am definitely enjoying it, as long as no one tests my patience. Although everything I do is back to back, we truly have been enjoying our time as a family. We are quite solid as a trio. We function like clockwork, when it is just the three of us. This harmonious system works for Ahmad, and that's what matters most to us.
That said, I do feel tired at the end of the day and I sometimes find myself staying up late, till the early hours of the morning, just to detach myself from my day. Disconnecting from everything and having to think about nothing is a mom's favorite kind of time out and self-care. Funny enough, this is my life every day of the year, so, quarantine, corona or no corona, the day to day is still the same. Nothing has changed really, as Ahmad and I spend a lot of time at home, following up on his personalized homeschooling and other edutainment I create for him that much up with his latest interests. It is a bit unconventional but I am pushing the limit as far as I can, to keep him driven. He is a curious little man, and he has come a long way for sure. I am so proud of him.

So what is this new temporary parallel universe the entire world is living in? I usually keep myself busy: I am so taken by my daily tasks that my anxiety doesn't peak, and I feel like I am living "normally". The news, though, can be triggering and can easily bring us back to what's going on on the ground. Reality check. Don't get me wrong, it is important to know what's happening and to keep track with the latest updates. My attitude is not a form of denial, but rather a safe bubble where I can keep my sanity and my anxiety level manageable. I am sure we are all having trouble in many aspects of our lives, trying to deal with this temporary reality. I hope you are all coping well with this unprecedented situation as much as you can. A lot of things have been running through my mind, and most of my thinking go back to our kiddo.

Kiddo getting into DJ-ing like his Baba

How do you explain what is going in the world today to a 9 year old boy with high-functioning ADHD? It's been a little bit challenging to break it down to him in terms he can understand. It is not just about him grasping what I am saying word per word, but rather also understanding the big words, the concepts of illness, quarantine, danger, corona virus, and everything revolving our recent (lack of) activities. A few weeks before the lockdown, we were still able to go out, but in a limited manner. We would go to smaller community malls where there were no crowds. The corona epidemic was under control and there were no immediate urgency to be in quarantine just yet. So going from that normality to drastic changes by cutting out all outdoor activity has no doubt left him confused. But, his kindliness surpasses everything. Children with autism are pure of heart to a degree that we might never experience, except through them. Their atypical perception of the world around them invite us into a different dimension where social queues are missed but replaced with pure and surprisingly sweet reactions, where major negative concepts of life are irrelevant in their dictionary, and where sensitivity is a universal language.

Ahmad is an expert at creating his own little bubble of fun and entertainment. He doesn't isolate himself, on the contrary, he always invites us both into it, which was never the case before. Back when he was 3 years old and we had discovered that he was on the autism spectrum, his sense of awareness of the world was nonexistent. Calling out his name and never getting a reply used to break my heart. The early signs of autism were appearing like a never-ending slide show. Luckily, my husband and I got more informed and we took action, which is a crucial step to take. Our love and dedication to better our son's life have improved his sense of awareness. His eye contact is beautifully focused, his vocabulary has expanded, and his ability to conduct a micro-discussion has also been such a blessing. Language is such a stress reliever, and with him acquiring more words, his tantrums and frustration have considerably subsided. So, in the current situation, he might not understand everything that's going on, but he gets just enough for him to continue his day to day, in a wholesome and healthy way. He doesn't complain, he doesn't ask questions, he is definitely enjoying our continuous quality time as a trio and he keeps finding new ways to keep the flow of fun going. Homeschooling sessions are one on one. Printouts and no iPad, because he already uses it during the day for videos and edutainment applications. Lately, I have been working on his lowercase handwriting and he is doing so well! I am also slowly getting him into maths, addition and subtraction. We have been using his favorite small toy cars to illustrate addition and so far so good. I am also testing his vocabulary and I just started to teach him some grammar.
" What is a noun?"... "What is a verb?".... "What is an adjective?"...

This takes me way back!

The other day, the hubby took Ahmad to try out his new scooter. It was so hot outside, but he really enjoyed that half an hour of sun. Our windows and balcony are facing the park so I was watching them from home. They both came back with tomato faces! A little thirsty, kiddo came home happy but couldn't wait to freshen up. A slice of happiness that lifted up his spirits for the rest of the day. We do what we can, with what we have. I hope you and your little ones are coping well with the situation. I wanted to wish everyone Ramadan Kareem. Already day 6, can you believe it?
A blessed month to you all!

"All went well, and luckily I have a photographic memory so guiding him
through Spinneys was almost like playing a virtual game."

Lately, getting groceries is taking more preparation than ever before. It is no longer just about jotting down a quick list and crossing fingers that we don't get tempted and pick up more items, as we go through the aisles. With this invisible nemesis going around, we have come up with a thorough plan. First of all, we have decided as a family to nominate Big Hass a.k.a. Mr. Baba a.k.a Hubby as principal grocery shopper. This way, we limit unnecessary interaction with the outside and better protect our family - especially our son who is autistic. Although doctors and scientists have been saying that children have the strongest immune systems, and that in case they catch it they will only show mild symptoms and it won't affect their health as much as adults and individuals with weak immune systems and/or chronic illnesses, I would still rather be safe and keep my protective mama bear gear on. So, let's get ready...

1- THE GROCERY LIST
We have all seen on the news how people were stocking up and buying in bulk, leaving many shelves empty. Also, let's not forget the toilet paper frenzy! So this is what we did. We kept our routine the closest possible to normal, and so was our grocery list. We did double up on a couple of things, but that was it. The government here in UAE assured people that supermarkets have enough stocks and supplies to cater to our needs, so there was no need to panic.
Write down the items you need for a week. Meats, chicken, condiments, canned foods, etc...
Stock up on fresh fruits and vegetables (wash, chop up and put in ziplock bags for your daily cooking)
Double up on necessities. Stock up the freezer with things like frozen vegetables, fries/potatoes, and other yummies that you can easily pop in the oven to cook.

I first visualize our trajectory in the supermarket (just as we used to take it as a family), and I write the groceries accordingly. You might think that this is weird, but as an autism family we follow a lot of patterns. Similar repetitive routines with mild changes every now and then keep our son in a flexible comfort zone. Writing the list per aisle makes things so much easier, and you make sure he covers everything. Not only do I provide him with pictures of products (yes, I am such a good wife lol) sent to his Whatsapp, but we have also decided that he wouldn't touch or carry his phone while shopping. How? Simple. Airpods! A few days ago, I stayed on the line with him, as he undertook mission impossible. All went well, and luckily I have a photographic memory so guiding him through Spinneys was almost like playing a virtual game. I was also the voice in his head lol
"This is your conscious speaking! Don't touch your face!"
Apparently, I was shouting, which is not of my character. I think sometimes my anxiety can morph into anger, anticipation and urgency. I just want everything picked up and him out of there as soon as possible, so I might have sounded a little bossy (and annoying) a few times. Sorry Habibi...

2- YOUR GEAR
Be mindful. Yes, that simple! This is not an extensive list of what to pack in a backpack in case your face a zombie apocalypse. Just be mindful. By being so, you will find yourself well equipped for any task at hand, especially in these challenging times. Mindfulness translate into our actions and it will automatically reflect self-respect and respect for others. You see clearer and make wiser choices, while taking into consideration your well-being and others as well. These are testing times and our ability to cross out selfishness will make us prevail.
Of course, there are a few things to keep in mind for a smooth grocery shop.
Wear comfortable clothes. Wear a mask if necessary, especially if you have allergies or have a mild cold or cough. Doctors have been advising that only individuals showing any symptoms should imperatively wear masks in public. As for everyone else, it is optional. Masks seems to be out of stock so as soon as we find some, we too will be keeping a box just for emergency. I have asked my husband to wear one when he goes out, since he is the only one stepping out to fetch what we need.
Keep a hand sanitizer 70% alcohol (spray, gel or even wipes) in your pocket.
Wear disposable gloves, if that makes you more comfortable.
Corona or no corona, I have always been guilty of wiping the shopping cart handle (OCD Mom!) and I have always felt like the weird one. Now every little thing I used to be strong minded about has become normal. My anxiety has finally found some peace.
If you don't want to use your phone, use your airpods or invest in good earbuds. In case the hubby needs to ask you something, he can call you without holding the phone. Too many extra germs that we don't need.
Do not eat while shopping! Opening a bag of chips or a chocolate bar is a big no-no. No matter how careful you are, you are bringing everything you have touched to your face and mouth.
Once you get to your car, remove mask, gloves and wash your hands with hand sanitizer before doing anything else. And as soon as you get home, wash hands thoroughly.

3- CHOOSE THE RIGHT TIME
The government in the UAE has recently instated a curfew as they are carrying out a massive country-wide disinfection campaign in all public places, in order to flatten the curb and combat the spread of the corona virus. We applaud these extensive measures. You are home safe, so please don't complain. Some people don't even have a roof over their heads. We are so privileged, especially living in a country like the UAE, where security is something the government takes very seriously. Their pro-activity shows their mindfulness, their attention, their care towards us. Dubai's population is composed of 85% foreigners, catalysts of this city's growth. It is important to keep fear away from this safe ecosystem. That being said, so what time can you go shopping?
You are free to go all day, until 8 PM. Public transportation will also be open during non-curfew hours. The nightly curfew starts from 8 PM to 6 AM.
But, in case you forgot something or need to urgently get groceries or even need to go pick up something from the pharmacy during curfew hours, you have to request permission to leave home.
This permit is for essential purposes only. We have already tried it and it is perfectly thought-through and easy to do. Just follow the steps >>> https://movepermit.gov.ae/home

Please plan well and don't forget to apply for permission when needed.
In case of refusal to follow the directives of the government or violation of the #stayhome quarantine instructions, there will be fines.
Group gathering at houses are also frowned upon. Stay home with your own family, as your house is your safe space. The lockdown is not a punishment but a cautionary preventative solution .Your social life is on hold and that's ok. Try to look at it from a different perspective and you will see that there is a silver lining to this dark cloud. Just imagine the force and enlightenment we will all come out with, after all is over.

4- WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?
It is all about love. As parents, we want and have a strong need to protect our children. All the scheming, the planning, the precautions, the guidelines, they are all in the aim to build a boundless bubble with an atmosphere of safety, a sense of security, of fulfillment and to be able to shield them from fear as much as we can.
When we choose to stay away from our older relatives, it is all love.
When we choose to be mindful, aware, responsible by following the precautionary guidelines, it is all love for the other. The lockdown, the curfew, the #stayhome campaign, the disinfection of public spaces and transportation, it is all love. Love with a big L.
When we see strangers coming up with ways to support and help the needy, that's love.
A lot of things can calm us. For some, it is music, yoga or reading. Exercise and laughing release endorphins and some foods can give us momentary pleasure. But what do we do when we need inner peace? Everyone has their own way of finding inner peace but for myself and a lot of other Muslims, we find it through Allah (s.w.t) and Islam. I find peace in the verse below, “Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope,” meaning He does not ask a soul what is beyond its ability. This only demonstrates Allah’s kindness, compassion and generosity towards His creation.
See? Love.

I know we are all feeling a bit lousy about so many banal things but make an effort every single day to express gratitude and to include something that generates calmness and happiness into your day. Let's keep spreading love towards ourselves, towards others and towards the world. Even nature is grateful that we are finally paying attention. How ironic is it that the confinement has revived it?
This grand love for humanity, make it flourish. May that seed for life and happiness always drive us and unite us, even in the most challenging times.

The Middle East Plus Size Fashion Bloggers #DUBAISQUAD
came together on Saturday, January 27th 2018
for a special photoshoot in collaboration with Boohoo MENA

When did this happen? This is something for the books! 11 bloggers unapologetically rocking their curves! It feels like it was just yesterday that I had decided to start up a new fashion community - the Middle East Plus Size Collective - one that promotes plus size fashion and body positivity in the Middle East. This crazy idea came to mind in November 2017, just one year in from when we moved the UAE. I had been scouting for fellow plus size bloggers in the region: it wasn't easy but I eventually stumbled on so many amazing beauties that shared my passion for the cause of promoting a beautiful image of plus size women in the region. Representation was needed and crucial at this point. The countries in the West have succeeded in breaking many barriers, while we are still trying to explain our ideology and demand validation from a society that is bound to ignorance and lack of tolerance.

This didn't stop us, and one of the project I am most proud of is this shoot with Boohoo MENA.
Their marketing team was so generous to offer each one of us head to toe outfits to fulfill our looks for the shoot. Their cooperation and patience was a highlight in all our eyes!
It was nice to come together this way. Have you ever seen a group photo promoting a brand in any of the media we devour every day? The answer is no. That's why I was so proud of what we had accomplished that day. Although the heat was excruciating that day, we managed to take some group and individual photos, we laughed, and we had finally met in person for the very first time! This experience will forever be a reminder of the power of togetherness, friendship and empowerment.

We thanked them then, and we thank them now.
Boohoo MENA, we appreciate you giving us a chance at a time where brands are still reluctant to invest in our passion and our strong message of body confidence.

#boohoomenaplus
#plussizefashion
#plussizebloggers
#dubaiplussizebloggers

Photo credits / Omar Tartoob

If you have a preconceived idea about what autism parents must be like and going through, scratch it out and start again. The only way I could possibly explain to you and make sure that you understand the actual situation is if we swap brains. Borrow my mind and heart and you'll get a glimpse of the fluctuating stress level we endure, the littlest milestones that seem like we just conquered the world, the tiny victories when kiddo is able to express his basic needs in few words and short sentences, the anxiety we feel when we don't know what's wrong, the happiness when we see him smile, the blessing he is that we cherish every single day, and the list goes on. It might seem like it is "normal" parents worries and concerns, but they are not.

Our journey into parenthood has shifted away from the norms - from what society is used to - and that's ok.
My husband and I are both very familiar with going against the current, through his radio host status, his music activism and support for hip-hop and local talent, and in my case, through advocating for plus size fashion and the body positive movement, as a blogger. We have an unconventional approach to life and I think this has prepared us as parents, as we welcomed kiddo into our lives.

A big part of our strength as a family comes from our faith in Allah, and from always expressing gratitude for the numerous blessings we have, including our health, having a roof over our heads, security, togetherness, family support, and above all love. With highs, there are always lows, so I cannot sit here and only write about the good side and our strive for optimism.
Just as autism is a spectrum, life carries its beauty in different shades, from light to dark, from white to black, when sometimes wandering in the grays can be helpful transitional periods, the weak links that revive a bad situation. There is enough sugar-coating on social media to ice the world's largest fake cake, so there is no place for that in this context. Life is all about balance: there wouldn't be room for change and evolution if everything was only black or only white.

You take the good with the bad, and you go with the flow, one day at a time. It takes a great deal of energy and a handful of patience to start every day. Sometimes, unpredictable things may occur and it could shift your day 180 degrees. You eventually master the art of adapting to any given situation and to improvise.
How to redirect a tantrum or a sticky situation to a calmer more soothing one, when in public, with a child who is hypersensitive to new environments and unfamiliar noises. Luckily, with time, kiddo has also mastered his own ways to adapt, whether through prompting (which makes him feel prepared and full of anticipation) or through his curiosity (he likes to google anything that tickles his fancy) and that helps him understand his surrounding more. Again, another example of how balance is important in life. There is always a way, and it all takes hard work, attention to details, observation, compassion and dedication. Patience, so much patience, and when you receive the colorful fruits of your high-minded actions, you feel blessed.

On another note, you also learn to ignore judgmental people and relentless stares. Your ultimate focus is your child and nothing else really matters. Strangers will walk away, nosy family members are not part of your day to day and sudden-philosophical friends will recommend a few articles and tactics, and - as the Penguins from the animated movie Madagascar would say - you will "just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave." I wasn't always 100% confident in the beginning. I used to be very self-conscious about what people might think of him, if he were to react in this or that manner, especially when we are out. Mama instinct kicks in the second our children are born, but I switched to turbo mode, once we discovered Ahmad's diagnosis and we realized that people's opinions seriously don't matter one bit. At the end of the day, my husband and I and our little man will be going home. It is our life and we like to handle it the way we see fit, while we set a solid layer for kiddo to thrive, to explore and to experience all aspects of life.

What I hate the most is when people are just so quick to judge. My husband and I have had our share of parent shaming in public. Many think we are foreigners, because of the way we look, so the people would shame or curse at us or talk about our lack of responsibility and incapacity to "handle" our child in public, our incompetence as parents, all spoken in Arabic, thinking we wouldn't understand.
We ignored many times, but this one time it was just the last straw and my husband couldn't stand it anymore. It was one of the harshest comments and he replied in Arabic - even brought out his Saudi accent for extra shock - and they were just stunned. They froze.
They were so embarrassed when we told them that our son has autism, and there is no need for quick judgment. I hate how people are so impatient, so annoyed, so extra-unnecessarily sensitive towards things that they can either try to understand or offer to help instead.
Society is normalizing this kind of behavior, because - again - social media. We are so used to typing comments and clicking on likes and dislikes - behind the comfort of our screen. But now, words are blurred out publicly. People want everything fast. Kindness and tolerance are a virtue, use them!
As parents and as a couple, we are very conscious individuals, we don't like to let things get out of hand, but if people step on our toes, it is 100% bear instincts.
Mama Bear and Baba Bear got kiddo covered.

Here are some of the random things people (not family or friends) tell us:
"He doesn't look autistic"
I always don't know what to make of that comment. I find it borderline offensive.
I am not sure what they were expecting.
I know most people don't mean any harm, but to be honest, especially as a mother, I would never express such a comment. It is so raw and blunt, even coming from a nice person. It will always backfire. It would be nicer to ask something like "What does he like?" // "What's his favorite toy/game?"// "What does he like to do?"

"He must be really smart - like a genius! Is he good at math?"
This is another misconception about children on the autism spectrum. They are not all prodigies with high IQs or potential genius mathematicians.
The media and film industry has recently been tapping into characters that are on the autism spectrum, and they are all portrayed as geniuses, whether it is "The Good Doctor" or "The Accountant". Maybe a little closer to reality would be the series "Atypical" - knowing that the teen in this production is actually verbal.

"Are you worried about the future?"
Sure, I think all parents would be worried and concerned about their kids' future. But for the time being, we are trying the best we can to provide him with tools, to prepare him for life. It is all a work in progress. I guess that's what parenting is. That's what raising children is all about.
Preparing them and equipping them with confidence, power, values, ethics and always stay humble and open-minded to all possibilities, because you never know what their calling might be. You need to be their biggest support system, and believe me they will pick up on your love, as they are very intuitive.

These were the most recurring comments we get.
Some people probably don't mean any hard but they were just clumsy in their attempt to start a conversation about our son. We have no hate towards anyone, and we do like people who are genuinely interested in getting to know our son, and what it is like to be his parents.
Subtle curiosity is not a crime. We welcome it. That's how we wish to propagate our message that #autismisnotadisease, it is a way of life. My husband uses his public appearances (as an MC), his interviews on TV, and his social media platforms to promote our life loving and message of tolerance, acceptance and love towards our son and autism.
Always shouting out our ray of sunshine.

But when comments are demeaning and charged with ignorance, despise or judgment, then obviously we don't tolerate. No one would.

Who doesn't love Frida Kahlo? We all do. The Mexican artist is by herself an intriguing persona, one one that exhuberates a striking energy, and has a captivating presence. We all love her for what she stands for, for her introspective paintings and self-portraits, for her use of bold and vibrant colors, for channeling her pains and passions through her art, and above all we celebrate her for being a feminist icon. There is definitely beauty in her uniqueness.

There are probably millions of pop art versions of Frida Kahlo on t-shirts across the world, whether from independent designers or high-street brands. I spotted the one I am wearing on Shein and it took me seconds to make up my mind, especially considering the price. I picked it up in color white, and it's also available in black. I thought it looked better in white and it would with more bottoms, especially for summer. Trying out Shein for the first time, I was a little nervous about the sizing but luckily it worked out well for me. I think the trick is to check the measurements for each items individually. Every item is different from the next so here's my tip: take your own measurements, note them down and for each piece you pick, check the measurements that are featured.
You might get one item 3XL and another one 5XL, so take your time choosing your clothes.

What I loved about this t-shirt is that it checks several boxes:
1- A white summer tee
2- A graphic tee which happens to be pop art - I love slogan and graphic t-shirts!
3- It is equally stretchy and flowy - I hate extremely stretchy body tops. Not convenient in this hot weather.
4- A bargain! Good price and good quality.
Another cute thing about this t-shirt are these 3D flowers as extra details. One might think that they are a little tacky but I found them quite delicate and not overpowering at all.

So, bottom line is I would totally recommend to check out the website: their plus size collection is quite extensive! I have even included Shein in my online shopping guide for plus size clothing so make sure you go check that out too.

To complete the outfit, I wanted to bring our the bright colors by wearing a strong contrast for a jacket. This red floral jacket is from River Island's plus size collection 2017 and I consider it a staple piece in my wardrobe. I love wearing it with any white tee and jeans! I have tried it with anything else, but it can easily go from casual to chic. The bright red and floral print are a trend this summer and possibly every summer (and even spring) so it will never become outdated.

My new trusty American Eagle denim jeans are a revelation thanks to my sister who told me that their jeans go up to size 20 US. A great discovery for me and this is actually my second pair from there. The newly added stretch is called Ne(X)t Level Stretch , which makes their pair of jeans and even jeggings very form fitting and true to size; so I do advise to go for a look if you usually wear a size 20-22 UK.
I quickly put on my red Converse shoes and stepped out! A casual look for any day, whether for the weekend, for a shopping session at the mall or a meetup with girls. Totally pop art, girly and casual!

// OUTFIT DETAILS //

River Island Jacket | Shein Frida Kahlo Tee | American Eagle Jeans
Chloe Glasses (Yateem Optician) | Converse Shoes

This is a mom zone topic. It could apply to every thing else we do in life, but for now I will just focus on talking about something I am familiar with, which is the pressure and stress of being a mom. As much as you think you are prepared to become a parent, mamahood is a learning process and it never ends, especially as your kids grow and go through their various milestones, developmental stages and personality peaks. I have now a bright 7 year-old boy, who is on the autism spectrum. How can you be prepared to something you have never heard about before? Reading books? Watching videos? Asking advice from your general physician or pediatrician?
That could help, but it is only an overview of what you are really going to face.

So you see, just as every kid is unique, every mom is unique too. There is no parenting protocol that needs to be followed to the letter. Sure you have your basic ethics, values, do's and dont's but at the end of the day you break the rules by creating your own rules, rules that are beneficial to the quality of life you are trying to instate for your children. I think normal is overrated. There is no such thing, in my opinion. You cannot apply the same tools to all situations. Mothers are known to be intuitive, and they use this gift to navigate through their spiritual experience of motherhood. A mother's instinct is real and Mom always knows best. She might make mistakes along the way, but her instinct, her calculations (or miscalculations), her anticipation to every situation, her unconditional love, unveil a devoted, patient, loving and forgiving powerhouse of mamahood.

At many occasions, schools and the way they format children have been underlined as inapt for the well-being and progress of kids. I have seen some Youtube videos discussing the controversy behind schools and how they mimic prisons. Scary, isn't it? Kids are told to pay attention, when to eat, when to play, when to be quiet, etc... I am not saying discipline is wrong, but I think there should be a more lenient approach to education and intellectual and creative development. Kids can acquire information through play, and I have seen that happen with my own son. He was non-verbal until the age of 4. We had two ABA therapists who would come to our home and, using play, they would help him with his math, his alphabet, words, and so on. My son - may Allah bless him - is now more expressive and a curious little monkey. He uses the same tactics to acquire knowledge. He is fascinated by everything new, he googles every new word he comes across, he watches educational animated series and relates them to our day-to-day life and activities. This is just the beginning, and I think if we reinforce that aspect of learning, kids will be less pressured, happier and more interested in discovering and knowing new things. It also paves strong confidence and independence, as their personalities shine through their likes, dislikes, fields of interest and happiness.
HAPPINESS. That's the word. What do you want to do when you grow up? Or would you rather ask, what will make you happy? I choose the latter, and with my situation as an autism mom, it is all about taking it day by day and making sure that the top of our list as parents, is his health and complete happiness.

Jeddah - Saudi Arabia (December 2011)

This is where social pressure comes in and that's why my post is called "Don't beat yourself up!" and to be more exact, stop beating yourself up. With social media under our noses, 24 hours a day, staged happiness is what we really see. Even when we are trying to record the most real moment, it is still staged, formatted, rendered and filtered. I won't deny that I too sometimes take several shots until I am happy. We all do that. It is the inescapable urge to please the world first, and then ourselves. To show the world that we are doing well and happy, as happiness is the common element in all religions, beliefs and ideologies.
But what about fake happiness like instagram flat-lays where everything looks pretty, you take the shot and post it. Two seconds later, your items are put away, table is back to normal and the mess in your home is hidden from the hungry eyes of social media. We are telling lies like the disturbingly happy TV ads we see all the time. Take a cooking oil advertisement. It is unlikely for me to be wearing my best clothes, putting an indefinite smile (that's going to hurt my jaw afterwards) on my face and be cooking like the dormant chef in me has finally risen! I mean seriously, can we just tone down just a little bit. But then people say, yeah, but that's just advertising.
We are sold by lies, illusions and (unattainable) perfection. I am sorry but we are loosing our minds.
This applies to everything else. There is pressure from every corner we look at, and as a mom you try to defy the new standards of the picture perfect moms that are being portrayed in the media, social media and in real life - because real life has become overpopulated with fakeness and an overflow of the same same same influencers.

So, can we pause for a second and press that refresh button. Look at the bigger picture and witness how far you have come. Believe me when I say, I have been one to compare myself to other moms or even women (fashion, lifestyle and beauty) but then I realize that I am Hanane, I am proud to be an autism mom, I am proud of how I handle situations, I don't like superficial things, I hate liars and hypocrites, I might be shy but I am a mama-bear when it comes to my loved ones and friends, I might be sensitive but I think it is a strength, added to patience it is what empowers me to be at my sons's side and needs and above all I love being a mom period - even if sometimes I do beat myself up and question my capacities. There is always a moment (or even moments) when you doubt yourself and wonder if you are doing a good job at raising your child. That's your humanity speaking and it is part of the learning process. Like I said in the beginning, motherhood starts the second you realize you are pregnant and the journey begins till eternity. It doesn't stop.
You have the longest, retirement-free, most rewarding, most exhausting, most energy-draining, indefinite and multi-emotional job in the world! How dare you beat yourself up?
There is no replica of Monsters Inc. big score board in the real world, where the top moms get the most attention or some sort of rewards. And even if it were the case, so what? It is just a busy noisy blur for me: too many egos and so little reflection upon our actions and our present blessings. Is humanity crumbling and so focused on who went where, and who did what? What about inspiring people instead, truthfully. What about guiding instead of making people buy things randomly and massively? What about creating more communities instead of secret circles of the most VIP/popular? What about collective versus individual? There is #noscoretobeat but there is plenty of room to fill, plenty of opportunities to create and more goodness to spread.
I am not competing, I am living. I am not trying to break a record, I am just trying to provide the best that life has to offer for my kid, in happiness, fun and more exposure to real life situations where his true essence can flourish. So, don't beat yourself up by trying to compare yourself to other mothers or other stereotypes. Don't try to become someone you are not. Trust your intuition, go back to basics, to the roots, to what your mom taught you. Don't cede to the media and what it wants to portray, choose wisely and dare to be you - fully!

This is definitely my kind of shopping guide! I honestly never got used to using cards of any sort, whether it is a credit card or a debit card. And usually when you are shopping online, you are bound to reach the payment section and have to insert your card details. I am more of a COD (Cash on Delivery) kind of girl!
For some reason, I feel more in control of how much I am spending this way.

I think it is necessary to put together this online shopping guide, in order to highlight all the websites you can check out to find plus size clothing and that deliver to most of the GCC and Middle East region.
I have all the solutions for you below!

1. Boohoo MENA
The UK high-street brand landed in the Middle East last year and what a delight it has been for all us! You can find trendy and more fashion forward pieces, that go up to size 26 UK. Subscribe to their newsletter, you will totally benefit from regular discount codes and offers.
https://mena.boohoo.com/

2. Blush
Blush is a Dubai based clothing brand that offers a wide range of fun, energetic and quirky line of clothing within a budget.They have created a space for women all of sizes to express themselves with beautiful prints, colors and silhouettes. Designer Vibhooti Wadhwani believes that "you are your own standard of beauty", so Blush caters to a range of sizes and you can even get your favorite pieces custom made. All you need to do is send them the design you like and your measurements.
http://www.blush.shop/

3. Brand For Less/Tchibo
A three in one online store! Brand For Less, Tchibo and Toys for Less. There is something for everyone. Brands For Less now has a presence across the Middle East. They own thirty outlets in countries such as UAE, Bahrain, Lebanon, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, Yemen and Qatar. They bring shoppers the best international brands at a fraction of the original price. Use filters to narrow your searches. For example, search by size and you might have some good finds in plus size. \
Also, Tchibo has some cute pieces and wardrobe basics that go up to size 50-52 FR (20-22UK)
https://www.brandsforless.ae/

4. DressLink
DressLink is also another fashion online store that I came across just recently. Mainly for standard sizes, they have one section of plus size dresses, ranging from day dresses, cocktail dresses to evening wear. You might find some good bargains!
https://www.dresslink.com/Event-plus_size_dress-index.html

5. Elabelz
Elabelz is an online fashion store for the entire family and luckily they have a plus size section too!
It features a couple of plus size brands and the one that stands out the most is Forever21+ so you might benefit from sales on old and current collections. Two of my last orders from Elabelz were dedicated to F21+ and I got a special discount on a pair of polka dots pants and a slogan sweater. I was a happy shopper!
https://www.elabelz.com/en_ae/women-clothing-plus-size-clothing/

6. GAP
Yes you read me right! I am size 20-22 UK and I have noticed that there are some pieces from GAP in sizes XL and XXL that work for me. Some of these items have stretch in them so why not try out their basics, whether it is summer dresses, GAP tees or just flared skirts with elastic waist-bands.
They launched their online website for the UAE at the end of last year. I usually enjoy shopping from GAP for my son, but I sometimes a few bits for me to the shopping cart.
https://www.gap.ae/

7. H&M
We all know the highstreet giant H&M and just a couple of days ago, they launched their online store for the Middle East and GCC. The plus size section - like in-stores - is quite small but there are some inevitable basics that can be key pieces in your wardrobe. They just launched so keep a close eye for any updates.
https://ae.hm.com/en/ladies/shop-product/hm-plus-sizes

8. Jollychic.com
So far, this shopping guide is quite diverse: it is for all budgets and for all tastes. I decided to add Jollychic, as it easily falls in the same category as the likes of Shein, Rosegal, Zaful, etc...
https://www.jollychic.com/

9. MANGO (Violeta)
Violeta is the plus size range for the high-street giant MANGO. I am a big fan of Violeta by MANGO, especially their tops and t-shirts. I haven't tried their jeans and bottoms yet but I am tempted to do so soon. I am always very pleased whenever I place an order with them. It takes up to a week to receive your order and their customer service is always so on point. Defintely a must-try!
https://shop.mango.com/ae-en/plus-size

10. Max Fashion
Max Fashion is one of the largest value fashion retailers in the Middle East. I have known Max for at least 15 years. When I turned 19, like any young woman, you are still discovering your style and personality. Being a big girl did not make the task easy and I remember Max was one of the first brands I would go to, mainly for daily casual wear. It was affordable and it would complement my size 18 UK back then. Although their plus size range always suffered in terms of style, two years ago the company was set on a mission to revamp the plus size collection and at some point I was impressed, considering that it was affordable fashion. I hope they keep catering to plus size women, and including more trendy and key pieces into each season's collection.
https://www.maxfashion.com/ae/en/c/women-plussize

11. Namshi
Namshi is fashion at your finger tips and plus size is included! They are a two-time award winning company, delivering your regular dose of style, with hundreds of new products to check out every single week! As for plus size, they feature brands like New Look Curve, Forever21+, Missguided+, Quiz, Simply Be, Dorothy Perkins Curve, NIKE, Ginger Plus and Evans.
From sizes 18-30 you'll find everything from active wear to everyday essentials.
https://en-ae.namshi.com/women-clothing-plus_size_clothing/

12. NEXT
UK Brand NEXT has catered to the region's online fashion shoppers! And to make things even more exciting, not only is there an array of brands like F&F, Boohoo and YOURS under the umbrella of next.ae, but there are also items in plus sizes!
https://www.next.ae/en

13. Off Size
Off-Size offers a hassle-free plus size online shopping experience for women who are looking for plus size clothes. To be completely honest with you, I came across this online store only a few weeks ago and what caught my attention was the fact that they had a wide collection of items from amazing brands like Carmakoma and Kiyonna. You should totally check it out!
https://www.off-size.ae/

14. Rosegal (Arabic)
RoseGal was actually started by a group of friends who all shared a strong passion for stunning clothing and fashion. They have also recognized the need to cater to plus size women, a demographic that has long been ignored. They showcases diversity in styles from modern to vintage.
https://ar.rosegal.com/plus-size-43/

15. SheIn (Arabic)
SheIn is also a giant retailer offering affordable ladies fashion dress online store for every occasion. You can always find good bargains and what I noticed is when you switch your SheIn to Arabic it activates the COD option, which for me is a total win. SheIn has been promoting their plus size range and I have actually just placed my first order ten days ago. Excited to see the outcome!
https://ar.shein.com/Plus%20Size-c-1888.html

16. SIVVI
Online shopping has changed forever! Launched in the Middle East in Spring 2014, SIVVI.COM showcases fresh international high street labels, top-notch sportswear and boutique brands. They too have a plus size section, featuring pieces from Yours London and Lost Ink Plus.
https://en-ae.sivvi.com/womens/clothing/plus-size-clothing

17. Amazon.ae
What we all knew as Souq.com has now become Amazon.ae! The change happened just recently and the platform is of course very familiar to all of us.
https://www.amazon.ae/

18. Splash+
More on affordable fashion, Splash is also one of the most prominent fashion retailers in the region and it doesn't as a surprise if it is featured in this list. A few months, Splash+ launched a campaign that promoted diversity and #therightsize, all in the effort to attract a younger clientele and to inject more style into their collection. Whether in-store or online, you should definitely check it out.
Although it might not be everyone's cup of tea but I say it is worth looking into...
https://www.splashfashions.com/ae/en/c/women-plussize

19. VogaCloset
VogaCloset is a U.K.-based online fashion store offering the latest women, men and kids trends from the runways directly to the closets of fashion enthusiasts in the Middle East. For their plus size section, they have happily included Booho Plus and Pretty Little Things so make sure you go take a look. There are also offers and discount codes on a regular basis so make sure you subscribe.
https://vogacloset.com/women-plus-size

20. VS Fashions
VS Fashions is an online fashion store based in the UAE and caters to standard and plus size
Although their plus size range stops at a size 20 UK, VS Fashions is mostly suitable for women who are between standard and plus size. Getting the best of both worlds!
https://www.vsfashionsstore.com/collections/curve

21. Zaful (Arabic)
ZAFUL is your one-stop online shop for the latest trends: daring, exciting and edgy fashion apparel. They feature affordable collections that are all about redefining trends, design excellence and good quality.The original idea is to share the latest news and fashion trends on women's clothing with fashion-forward, free-thinking girls, and they offer the fast fashion worldwide.
https://ar.zaful.com/plus-size-e_96/

22. 11 HONORE
11 Honoré is a size-inclusive shopping site that for the first time ever, gives more women the option to experience the best designer clothing and celebrate and honor their bodies, beauty and style.
Designer fashion a click away!
https://11honore.com/

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