"All went well, and luckily I have a photographic memory so guiding him through Spinneys was almost like playing a virtual game."

Lately, getting groceries is taking more preparation than ever before. It is no longer just about jotting down a quick list and crossing fingers that we don't get tempted and pick up more items, as we go through the aisles. With this invisible nemesis going around, we have come up with a thorough plan. First of all, we have decided as a family to nominate Big Hass a.k.a. Mr. Baba a.k.a Hubby as principal grocery shopper. This way, we limit unnecessary interaction with the outside and better protect our family - especially our son who is autistic. Although doctors and scientists have been saying that children have the strongest immune systems, and that in case they catch it they will only show mild symptoms and it won't affect their health as much as adults and individuals with weak immune systems and/or chronic illnesses, I would still rather be safe and keep my protective mama bear gear on. So, let's get ready...


 1- THE GROCERY LIST 
We have all seen on the news how people were stocking up and buying in bulk, leaving many shelves empty. Also, let's not forget the toilet paper frenzy! So this is what we did. We kept our routine the closest possible to normal, and so was our grocery list. We did double up on a couple of things, but that was it. The government here in UAE assured people that supermarkets have enough stocks and supplies to cater to our needs, so there was no need to panic.
Write down the items you need for a week. Meats, chicken, condiments, canned foods, etc...
Stock up on fresh fruits and vegetables (wash, chop up and put in ziplock bags for your daily cooking)
Double up on necessities. Stock up the freezer with things like frozen vegetables, fries/potatoes, and other yummies that you can easily pop in the oven to cook. 




I first visualize our trajectory in the supermarket (just as we used to take it as a family), and I write the groceries accordingly. You might think that this is weird, but as an autism family we follow a lot of patterns. Similar repetitive routines with mild changes every now and then keep our son in a flexible comfort zone. Writing the list per aisle makes things so much easier, and you make sure he covers everything. Not only do I provide him with pictures of products (yes, I am such a good wife lol) sent to his Whatsapp, but we have also decided that he wouldn't touch or carry his phone while shopping. How? Simple. Airpods! A few days ago, I stayed on the line with him, as he undertook mission impossible. All went well, and luckily I have a photographic memory so guiding him through Spinneys was almost like playing a virtual game. I was also the voice in his head lol
"This is your conscious speaking! Don't touch your face!"
Apparently, I was shouting, which is not of my character. I think sometimes my anxiety can morph into anger, anticipation and urgency. I just want everything picked up and him out of there as soon as possible, so I might have sounded a little bossy (and annoying) a few times. Sorry Habibi...


 2- YOUR GEAR 
Be mindful. Yes, that simple! This is not an extensive list of what to pack in a backpack in case your face a zombie apocalypse. Just be mindful. By being so, you will find yourself well equipped for any task at hand, especially in these challenging times. Mindfulness translate into our actions and it will automatically reflect self-respect and respect for others. You see clearer and make wiser choices, while taking into consideration your well-being and others as well. These are testing times and our ability to cross out selfishness will make us prevail.
Of course, there are a few things to keep in mind for a smooth grocery shop.
Wear comfortable clothes. Wear a mask if necessary, especially if you have allergies or have a mild cold or cough. Doctors have been advising that only individuals showing any symptoms should imperatively wear masks in public. As for everyone else, it is optional. Masks seems to be out of stock so as soon as we find some, we too will be keeping a box just for emergency. I have asked my husband to wear one when he goes out, since he is the only one stepping out to fetch what we need.
Keep a hand sanitizer 70% alcohol (spray, gel or even wipes) in your pocket.
Wear disposable gloves, if that makes you more comfortable.
Corona or no corona, I have always been guilty of wiping the shopping cart handle (OCD Mom!) and I have always felt like the weird one. Now every little thing I used to be strong minded about has become normal. My anxiety has finally found some peace.
If you don't want to use your phone, use your airpods or invest in good earbuds. In case the hubby needs to ask you something, he can call you without holding the phone. Too many extra germs that we don't need.
Do not eat while shopping! Opening a bag of chips or a chocolate bar is a big no-no. No matter how careful you are, you are bringing everything you have touched to your face and mouth.
Once you get to your car, remove mask, gloves and wash your hands with hand sanitizer before doing anything else. And as soon as you get home, wash hands thoroughly. 


 3- CHOOSE THE RIGHT TIME 
The government in the UAE has recently instated a curfew as they are carrying out a massive country-wide disinfection campaign in all public places, in order to flatten the curb and combat the spread of the corona virus. We applaud these extensive measures. You are home safe, so please don't complain. Some people don't even have a roof over their heads. We are so privileged, especially living in a country like the UAE, where security is something the government takes very seriously. Their pro-activity shows their mindfulness, their attention, their care towards us. Dubai's population is composed of 85% foreigners, catalysts of this city's growth. It is important to keep fear away from this safe ecosystem. That being said, so what time can you go shopping?
You are free to go all day, until 8 PM. Public transportation will also be open during non-curfew hours. The nightly curfew starts from 8 PM to 6 AM.
But, in case you forgot something or need to urgently get groceries or even need to go pick up something from the pharmacy during curfew hours, you have to request permission to leave home.
This permit is for essential purposes only. We have already tried it and it is perfectly thought-through and easy to do. Just follow the steps >>> https://movepermit.gov.ae/home


Please plan well and don't forget to apply for permission when needed.
In case of refusal to follow the directives of the government or violation of the #stayhome quarantine instructions, there will be fines.
Group gathering at houses are also frowned upon. Stay home with your own family, as your house is your safe space. The lockdown is not a punishment but a cautionary preventative solution .Your social life is on hold and that's ok. Try to look at it from a different perspective and you will see that there is a silver lining to this dark cloud. Just imagine the force and enlightenment we will all come out with, after all is over.


 4- WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT? 
It is all about love. As parents, we want and have a strong need to protect our children. All the scheming, the planning, the precautions, the guidelines, they are all in the aim to build a boundless bubble with an atmosphere of safety, a sense of security, of fulfillment and to be able to shield them from fear as much as we can.
When we choose to stay away from our older relatives, it is all love.
When we choose to be mindful, aware, responsible by following the precautionary guidelines, it is all love for the other. The lockdown, the curfew, the #stayhome campaign, the disinfection of public spaces and transportation, it is all love. Love with a big L. 
When we see strangers coming up with ways to support and help the needy, that's love.
A lot of things can calm us. For some, it is music, yoga or reading. Exercise and laughing release endorphins and some foods can give us momentary pleasure. But what do we do when we need inner peace? Everyone has their own way of finding inner peace but for myself and a lot of other Muslims, we find it through Allah (s.w.t) and Islam. I find peace in the verse below, “Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope,” meaning He does not ask a soul what is beyond its ability. This only demonstrates Allah’s kindness, compassion and generosity towards His creation.
See? Love. 


I know we are all feeling a bit lousy about so many banal things but make an effort every single day to express gratitude and to include something that generates calmness and happiness into your day. Let's keep spreading love towards ourselves, towards others and towards the world. Even nature is grateful that we are finally paying attention. How ironic is it that the confinement has revived it?
This grand love for humanity, make it flourish. May that seed for life and happiness always drive us and unite us, even in  the most challenging times.

If you have a preconceived idea about what autism parents must be like and going through, scratch it out and start again. The only way I could possibly explain to you and make sure that you understand the actual situation is if we swap brains. Borrow my mind and heart and you'll get a glimpse of the fluctuating stress level we endure, the littlest milestones that seem like we just conquered the world, the tiny victories when kiddo is able to express his basic needs in few words and short sentences, the anxiety we feel when we don't know what's wrong, the happiness when we see him smile, the blessing he is that we cherish every single day, and the list goes on. It might seem like it is "normal" parents worries and concerns, but they are not.

Our journey into parenthood has shifted away from the norms - from what society is used to - and that's ok.
My husband and I are both very familiar with going against the current, through his radio host status, his music activism and support for hip-hop and local talent, and in my case, through advocating for plus size fashion and the body positive movement, as a blogger. We have an unconventional approach to life and I think this has prepared us as parents, as we welcomed kiddo into our lives.

A big part of our strength as a family comes from our faith in Allah, and from always expressing gratitude for the numerous blessings we have, including our health, having a roof over our heads, security, togetherness, family support, and above all love. With highs, there are always lows, so I cannot sit here and only write about the good side and our strive for optimism.
Just as autism is a spectrum, life carries its beauty in different shades, from light to dark, from white to black, when sometimes wandering in the grays can be helpful transitional periods, the weak links that revive a bad situation. There is enough sugar-coating on social media to ice the world's largest fake cake, so there is no place for that in this context. Life is all about balance: there wouldn't be room for change and evolution if everything was only black or only white.

You take the good with the bad, and you go with the flow, one day at a time. It takes a great deal of energy and a handful of patience to start every day. Sometimes, unpredictable  things may occur and it could shift your day 180 degrees. You eventually master the art of adapting to any given situation and to improvise.
How to redirect a tantrum or a sticky situation to a calmer more soothing one, when in public, with a child who is hypersensitive to new environments and unfamiliar noises. Luckily, with time, kiddo has also mastered his own ways to adapt, whether through prompting (which makes him feel prepared and full of anticipation) or through his curiosity (he likes to google anything that tickles his fancy) and that helps him understand his surrounding more. Again, another example of how balance is important in life. There is always a way, and it all takes hard work, attention to details, observation, compassion and dedication. Patience, so much patience, and when you receive the colorful fruits of your high-minded actions, you feel blessed.

On another note, you also learn to ignore judgmental people and relentless stares. Your ultimate focus is your child and nothing else really matters. Strangers will walk away, nosy family members are not part of your day to day and sudden-philosophical friends will recommend a few articles and tactics, and  - as the Penguins from the animated movie Madagascar would say - you will "just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave." I wasn't always 100% confident in the beginning. I used to be very self-conscious about what people might think of him, if he were to react in this or that manner, especially when we are out. Mama instinct kicks in the second our children are born, but I switched to turbo mode, once we discovered Ahmad's diagnosis and we realized that people's opinions seriously don't matter one bit. At the end of the day, my husband and I and our little man will be going home. It is our life and we like to handle it the way we see fit, while we set a solid layer for kiddo to thrive, to explore and to experience all aspects of life.

What I hate the most is when people are just so quick to judge. My husband and I have had our share of parent shaming in public. Many think we are foreigners, because of the way we look, so the people would shame or curse at us or talk about our lack of responsibility and incapacity to "handle" our child in public, our incompetence as parents, all spoken in Arabic, thinking we wouldn't understand.
We ignored many times, but this one time it was just the last straw and my husband couldn't stand it anymore. It was one of the harshest comments and he replied in Arabic - even brought out his Saudi accent for extra shock - and they were just stunned. They froze.
They were so embarrassed when we told them that our son has autism, and there is no need for quick judgment. I hate how people are so impatient, so annoyed, so extra-unnecessarily sensitive towards things that they can either try to understand or offer to help instead.
Society is normalizing this kind of behavior, because - again - social media. We are so used to typing comments and clicking on likes and dislikes - behind the comfort of our screen. But now, words are blurred out publicly. People want everything fast. Kindness and tolerance are a virtue, use them! 
As parents and as a couple, we are very conscious individuals, we don't like to let things get out of hand, but if people step on our toes, it is 100% bear instincts.
Mama Bear and Baba Bear got kiddo covered. 

Here are some of the random things people (not family or friends) tell us:
"He doesn't look autistic"
I always don't know what to make of that comment. I find it borderline offensive.
I am not sure what they were expecting.
I know most people don't mean any harm, but to be honest, especially as a mother, I would never express such a comment. It is so raw and blunt, even coming from a nice person. It will always backfire. It would be nicer to ask something like "What does he like?" // "What's his favorite toy/game?"// "What does he like to do?"

"He must be really smart - like a genius! Is he good at math?"
This is another misconception about children on the autism spectrum. They are not all prodigies with high IQs or potential genius mathematicians.
The media and film industry has recently been tapping into characters that are on the autism spectrum, and they are all portrayed as geniuses, whether it is "The Good Doctor" or "The Accountant". Maybe a little closer to reality would be the series "Atypical" - knowing that the teen in this production is actually verbal.

"Are you worried about the future?"
Sure, I think all parents would be worried and concerned about their kids' future. But for the time being, we are trying the best we can to provide him with tools, to prepare him for life. It is all a work in progress. I guess that's what parenting is. That's what raising children is all about.
Preparing them and equipping them with confidence, power, values, ethics and always stay humble and open-minded to all possibilities, because you never know what their calling might be. You need to be their biggest support system, and believe me they will pick up on your love, as they are very intuitive.

These were the most recurring comments we get.
Some people probably don't mean any hard but they were just clumsy in their attempt to start a conversation about our son. We have no hate towards anyone, and we do like people who are genuinely interested in getting to know our son, and what it is like to be his parents.
Subtle curiosity is not a crime. We welcome it. That's how we wish to propagate our message that #autismisnotadisease,  it is a way of life. My husband uses his public appearances (as an MC), his interviews on TV, and his social media platforms to promote our life loving and message of tolerance, acceptance and love towards our son and autism.
Always shouting out our ray of sunshine.

But when comments are demeaning and charged with ignorance, despise or judgment, then obviously we don't tolerate. No one would.

This is a mom zone topic. It could apply to every thing else we do in life, but for now I will just focus on talking about something I am familiar with, which is the pressure and stress of being a mom. As much as you think you are prepared to become a parent, mamahood is a learning process and it never ends, especially as your kids grow and go through their various milestones, developmental stages and personality peaks. I have now a bright 7 year-old boy, who is on the autism spectrum. How can you be prepared to something you have never heard about before? Reading books? Watching videos? Asking advice from your general physician or pediatrician?
That could help, but it is only an overview of what you are really going to face.

So you see, just as every kid is unique, every mom is unique too. There is no parenting protocol that needs to be followed to the letter. Sure you have your basic ethics, values, do's and dont's but at the end of the day you break the rules by creating your own rules, rules that are beneficial to the quality of life you are trying to instate for your children. I think normal is overrated. There is no such thing, in my opinion. You cannot apply the same tools to all situations. Mothers are known to be intuitive, and they use this gift to navigate through their spiritual experience of motherhood. A mother's instinct is real and Mom always knows best. She might make mistakes along the way, but her instinct, her calculations (or miscalculations), her anticipation to every situation, her unconditional love, unveil a devoted, patient, loving and forgiving powerhouse of mamahood.

At many occasions, schools and the way they format children have been underlined as inapt for the well-being and progress of kids. I have seen some Youtube videos discussing the controversy behind schools and how they mimic prisons. Scary, isn't it? Kids are told to pay attention, when to eat, when to play, when to be quiet, etc... I am not saying discipline is wrong, but I think there should be a more lenient approach to education and intellectual and creative development. Kids can acquire information through play, and I have seen that happen with my own son. He was non-verbal until the age of 4. We had two ABA therapists who would come to our home and, using play, they would help him with his math, his alphabet, words, and so on. My son - may Allah bless him - is now more expressive and a curious little monkey. He uses the same tactics to acquire knowledge. He is fascinated by everything new, he googles every new word he comes across, he watches educational animated series and relates them to our day-to-day life and activities. This is just the beginning, and I think if we reinforce that aspect of learning, kids will be less pressured, happier and more interested in discovering and knowing new things. It also paves strong confidence and independence, as their personalities shine through their likes, dislikes, fields of interest and happiness.
HAPPINESS. That's the word. What do you want to do when you grow up? Or would you rather ask, what will make you happy? I choose the latter, and with my situation as an autism mom, it is all about taking it day by day and making sure that the top of our list as parents, is his health and complete happiness.

Jeddah - Saudi Arabia (December 2011)

This is where social pressure comes in and that's why my post is called "Don't beat yourself up!" and to be more exact, stop beating yourself up. With social media under our noses, 24 hours a day, staged happiness is what we really see. Even when we are trying to record the most real moment, it is still staged, formatted, rendered and filtered. I won't deny that I too sometimes take several shots until I am happy. We all do that. It is the inescapable urge to please the world first, and then ourselves. To show the world that we are doing well and happy, as happiness is the common element in all religions, beliefs and ideologies.
But what about fake happiness like instagram flat-lays where everything looks pretty, you take the shot and post it. Two seconds later, your items are put away, table is back to normal and the mess in your home is hidden from the hungry eyes of social media. We are telling lies like the disturbingly happy TV ads we see all the time. Take a cooking oil advertisement. It is unlikely for me to be wearing my best clothes, putting an indefinite smile (that's going to hurt my jaw afterwards) on my face and be cooking like the dormant chef in me has finally risen! I mean seriously, can we just tone down just a little bit. But then people say, yeah, but that's just advertising.
We are sold by lies, illusions and (unattainable) perfection. I am sorry but we are loosing our minds.
This applies to everything else. There is pressure from every corner we look at, and as a mom you try to defy the new standards of the picture perfect moms that are being portrayed in the media, social media and in real life - because real life has become overpopulated with fakeness and an overflow of the same same same influencers.

So, can we pause for a second and press that refresh button. Look at the bigger picture and witness how far you have come. Believe me when I say, I have been one to compare myself to other moms or even women (fashion, lifestyle and beauty) but then I realize that I am Hanane, I am proud to be an autism mom, I am proud of how I handle situations, I don't like superficial things, I hate liars and hypocrites, I might be shy but I am a mama-bear when it comes to my loved ones and friends, I might be sensitive but I think it is a strength, added to patience it is what empowers me to be at my sons's side and needs and above all I love being a mom period - even if sometimes I do beat myself up and question my capacities. There is always a moment (or even moments) when you doubt yourself and wonder if you are doing a good job at raising your child. That's your humanity speaking and it is part of the learning process. Like I said in the beginning, motherhood starts the second you realize you are pregnant and the journey begins till eternity. It doesn't stop.
You have the longest, retirement-free, most rewarding, most exhausting, most energy-draining, indefinite and multi-emotional job in the world! How dare you beat yourself up?
There is no replica of Monsters Inc. big score board in the real world, where the top moms get the most attention or some sort of rewards. And even if it were the case, so what? It is just a busy noisy blur for me: too many egos and so little reflection upon our actions and our present blessings. Is humanity crumbling and so focused on who went where, and who did what? What about inspiring people instead, truthfully. What about guiding instead of making people buy things randomly and massively? What about creating more communities instead of secret circles of the most VIP/popular? What about collective versus individual? There is #noscoretobeat but there is plenty of room to fill, plenty of opportunities to create and more goodness to spread.
I am not competing, I am living. I am not trying to break a record, I am just trying to provide the best that life has to offer for my kid, in happiness, fun and more exposure to real life situations where his true essence can flourish. So, don't beat yourself up by trying to compare yourself to other mothers or other stereotypes. Don't try to become someone you are not. Trust your intuition, go back to basics, to the roots, to what your mom taught you. Don't cede to the media and what it wants to portray, choose wisely and dare to be you - fully! 

I have been stalking some graffiti walls in Dubai, keeping them in mind for potential outfit shoots. Colorful backgrounds to complement simple looks! Last weekend, I decided to drag my hubby and our 6 year old to BOXPARK, which is a really hip cool urban setting for shopping and dining.
Despite the humidity, we went to check out this enchanting 'rainbow of oblivious clouds' - a wall done by artist myne and yours.  It instantly spoke to me. I already had a clear picture in mind.
Not only that, it also made me think about Ahmad, about autism, about the understanding of the autism spectrum. My little man is my biggest fan when it comes to my blog. He loves how we go take pictures with his daddy behind the lens. He sometimes imitates him too.




A perfect weekend outfit with the boys! We struggled with the humidity a bit but we enjoyed our stroll and Ahmad got the chance to let out some energy.
I can't wait for the weather to get a little cooler so we can enjoy our walks there again.





Instead of imagining the autism spectrum like a scale, think of it like a spectrum of colors, like a rainbow. The spectrum consists of many different traits or ways in which the brain processes information. Each person with autism has strengths and weaknesses in the various areas that helps us through our day-to-day life. It is like using an eyedropper tool to choose a color on Photoshop: not one color is similar to the other. Same with autism, the combination is limitless, that's why there is no such thing as "a little autistic" or "too autistic".

Bless our children. Our main purpose as parents is to show them the way and let them soar.
Give them various platforms where they can reveal their essence, their calling and thrive!

Parents don't choose their children and children don't choose their parents. We are born into this world destined to fulfill a mission, to acquire experience, to do good, to use our God-given abilities and be the best we can, to transfer our knowledge to the next generation, to enrich the world as we know it now by leaving imprints of personal discoveries, collective innovations and new information. We don't choose our destiny but rather destiny paves our path and we try to make the best choices along the way.

When I first met my husband, I never knew how much love and friendship could reinforce a marriage. I am 100% myself with him and so is he, with all our flaws. Being married to your best friend creates continuous never-ending discussions. The floor is always open to talk about anything anytime. When I got pregnant, we could not but feel that satisfying and overwhelming feeling of joy and anticipation. It was one of the most exciting moments of our life! Like any parent, you would start fantasizing about cliché parenting and playing situations with your bundle of joy.

If it was a girl, tea parties, dressing up dolls and combing her hair were on the menu.
If it was a boy, cars, sports and cheekiness were on the list.

Sure they might seem like stereotypes but we can't deny that, as first time parents, these traits cross our mind. At the end of the day, I believe a child can do whatever he chooses to do. Encourage your little boy or little girl to experiment, to experience and to make his/her own choices.
As I got into my second trimester, the moment of truth was getting closer.
It was by July 2010 that we realized that we were having a baby boy!
Baba was thrilled, and super prego Mama was on the moon.


A is for American University of Beirut Medical Center (Beirut, Lebanon)
On the 25th of November 2010 at 9:22 a.m., we were blessed with a beautiful baby boy with a sweet aura, curious dark grey eyes and a cry that made my heart crumble.


A is for Ahmad Dennaoui a.k.a. Baby A ♡
Hello little one. Welcome to the world.
As the effects of the C-section started to wear off, I walked into the nursery with my husband as the nurses wanted to give us a crash course on how to bathe our baby A. My focus wasn't on the instructions much but more on his little head, his soft fine hair, his tiny ears and his button nose. The nurse must have bathed so many babies in her time that her speed was jaw-dropping! I remember how my husband and I looked at each other with complete chock. We can do it.
We'll do it our way, and baby steps...


A is for Apple of my Eye
Ahmad. Ahmad. Ahmad. That's all what my mind could register.
My entire attention was on him and because I am a very sensitive and easily-anxious person, my focus was turned up a notch. The apple of my eye, my little ray of sunshine, a beautiful soul that brought so much joy to two families, longing for happiness. 24/7 multitasking mama mode switches on without warning. The first year is always the hardest because you are still getting acquainted with parenthood, mama-hood and baby-hood. Baby is crawling, baby is cruising and soon enough baby is walking (like a penguin). What will his first word be?


A is for Alphabet song
Nursery rhymes and the alphabet song are the first step into encouraging speech. I sing to him the ABC's and I call out his name "Ahmad". He doesn't look at me. He seems isolated in his little bubble of fun. We never took it seriously at first. He was just probably ignoring us and just busy enjoying his realm of colorful toys. We started noticing patterns and repetitions. There is no foolproof standard guide to a kid's development, only milestones that he seemed to be following quite well, except for speech and eye contact. He was already 2 going on 3 and no words coming out...
Speech delay? That's possible. Auditory deficiency? What would a parent do? What would you do?


A is for Accepting differences
Soon enough, we realized that Ahmad was a little different. What tormented us as parents was not knowing what was exactly going on. My husband and I are very open-minded individuals, with our own personal agendas that we promote passionately. My husband is a radio host and music activist and I am a plus size fashion blogger and a writer. Two worlds in which "acceptance" is a key word.
Ahmad was the completion of a "rebellious" trio. Accepting him as he is was never a challenge.

Concerned we were for sure, so we sought more information from his pediatrician, a speech therapist, an ENT Doctor, an audiologist and an ABA therapist. Also, his teachers at the daycare started explaining to us his odd behavior and lack of interaction with the rest of the group. They emphasized on his hypersensitivity to nursery songs, his lack of eye contact, his non-responsive behavior to any given instruction and his constant separation from the group. He was the runner, the "hyperactive" kid who wouldn't sit down and does as he pleases. At some point, the buildup of the comments did infuriate me. I would never push my child to conform, especially at this age. He is only in daycare. But, with all the things we were noticing at home, there was definitely something else.

A is for Autism
I was never really familiar with the term. I might have come across a few articles about it but that was it. Autism. What is it exactly? Perplexed by the diagnosis given by one of his pediatricians, we felt cemented to the floor as we entered into unfamiliar territory. It is so scary to realize that your child is going through something you can't understand fully. Autism didn't scare us. It is the journey that was coming ahead that made us feel vulnerable and concerned. Autism is a range of conditions characterized by challenges with social skills, repetitive behaviors, speech and nonverbal communication, as well as by unique strengths and differences. It is a lifelong developmental condition that affects, among other things, the way an individual relates to his or her environment and their interaction with other people. My little ray of sunshine is a bright little boy, kindhearted and he just sees the world differently.
He was 3 and still not speaking. I took things into my own hands and started to get him to sit down and do some activities. Scribbling, coloring, sticker collages, drawing basic shapes and just having him be more attentive to my instructions. There was slow progress and interaction but something more drastic had to be done.

A is for Action
It was time for action. We went through two tumultuous years after we found out that Ahmad had autism. Back then, we were living in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. The forecast of sustaining a lifestyle for him there was like a haze. Ahmad needed an environment where he could test his potential and be given the opportunity to thrive. Our decision to move to Dubai was mostly due to finding an autism center there, with a staff that reassured us. For once, we were a little less stressed and more optimistic.
One of the main issues parents are faced with are doubt, hesitation and fear. All these feelings are normal, just don't take too long before taking action. The earlier the intervention, the better the results. Our move to Dubai was made public because when we took the decision to move, we were lacking financial support. My husband and I had decided to share - the once hidden - Ahmad's situation and we started up an online fund. Our explanatory video reached the hearts of generous friends and families, autism parents from the region, new parents and just people who saw inspiration in our action plan. It has helps us accomplish our goals and hopefully this will only be the start to a better tomorrow for our little man.

A is for Airport, Airplane, Ambulance and Anything that goes...
Within a month after our move, we started ABA therapy with the center.
Thanks to his love for anything that goes, all the cars, trains, airplanes and airports, his ABA sessions were running smoothly. The therapist composes a tailored program, based on the likes of the child. His toys were one of his sources of happiness. He has always had a particular preference for airplanes and all that is related to the functioning of an airport. He loves to travel, he loves to be on a plane and - I will never forget this - he once spelled PROPELLER on one of his spelling applications on his iPad and for a while I was surprised and eager to know where he picked it up from.
He is a curious little boy who googles anything that strikes his interest. He likes to visualize the words. He would scroll through images that relate to airports and learn words like pilot, suitcase, airport metro, train, bus, taxi, and the list goes on...

A is for Ambition
Be ambitious parents for him/her, believe in your child's potential regardless of his/her differences.
Let ambition, optimism and hope be the catalyst of your actions and decisions.
We are the only ones who can nourish, guide and encourage our children to be the best they can. With all the daily challenges we face, we don't give up. The future is scary for any parent, but with autism, the future looks vague and unclear. Ahmad's love for life is contagious. His smile brights up a room, his hyperactivity sets us on a game of "catch me if you can" and his perception of the world and his intelligence surprises me every single day. Surround your child with positivity and cherish the moments he replenishes with joy and good spirit. Autism rocks...

A is for Always Together
Parenthood is not a picture perfect phase of our life. It is filled with so many challenges, some of which you might not have ever thought about or even anticipated.
We always think "It can't happen to me" but it does. It is all about how you adapt, accept and manage the situation. We are not perfect, but we do our best.
Our trio is inseparable. We do things for fun together. We fight for him, give him the space and opportunity to venture into the world with all his quirkiness and wit and we are each others friends!
I cannot ask for a better family. Even though, challenges come into our life with a capital "C" but we are always up for it, always together, with our patience, our will and faith.

May Allah bless our trio and our rock star kiddo!

Last November, we went to LEGOLAND to spend kiddo's birthday. It has been something on his mind for quite some time. He has seen all the Youtube videos, all the billboard ads on the highways and even pictures in leaflets handed out in malls or such. With autism, you never really know what to expect. We try to prepare him, plan ahead as much as we can. Organize, plan and then go for it.
As parents - mostly my husband - we try to push our little man to do things, to experience everything even if there was a possibility of some public display of tantrums happening or sticky situations we needed to take care of (also in public). We have learned to manage it and divert his attention at a faster speed. You need to be witty, quick and most importantly comforting and calm. You want your little one to sense positive vibes, nothing else.
That takes a generous amount of focus and unconditional love and everything!

Although kiddo may not know dates or the notion of days, months and years, I had to come up with a way to explain to him that the 25th November was his birthday and that we were going to spend it at Legoland. I wanted him to feel the excitement of waiting, waiting for something he truly likes!
So I figured out a way. I decided to enter the below on his iPad's calendar, under 25th November 2016:



We actually typed and saved it on his calendar almost 10 days before.
Every day he would open the calendar, point at 25 November and read it. We would tell him for example: "Today we are 21. On 25...." and we read on. We were so happy to see that he understood our little trick. It was only in the course of this year that Ahmad became more verbal, more expressive and more aware of his surrounding. His progress blows our mind!
From the age of 2, he has been super sensitive towards birthdays and anything related to them. We spent his 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th birthday in agony! As parents, it is devastating to see that a common birthday get-together, or a birthday cake or even a balloon could cause so much pain and frustration to a toddler.

On his 3rd birthday onward, we decided to do things he liked. We skipped the traditional cake, music and birthday games, and simply spent it as a trio at his favorite play area. My husband even went the extra mile and planned a family escape to Istanbul in November 2013 and November 2014. We were so thrilled the first time that we went again the next year.
Ahmad loves traveling! He is fascinated by planes, trains, anything that goes. I remember I even researched Transport museums in Istanbul and we did take him there. We found a museum called Rahmi M. Koç Museum; it is a private industrial museum in Istanbul, dedicated to the history of transport, industry and communications.
From old cars to WWII planes, steam engines and trains, kiddo's eyes lit up!
Unconventional way to spend a birthday maybe, but as long as he is happy - that's all that really matters.

Now that he turned 6, my husband wanted to test the waters and brought "Thomas the Train" (his favorite!) balloons to the house and a huge blue number "6" balloon. We wanted to see his tolerance towards birthdays.  He took it very well. Saying and seeing the word "birthday" in front of him was no longer an issue! My husband and I were thrilled.
It is the smallest things that make a difference in the quality of our kiddo's life and well-being.


We get all excited over the tiniest milestones, ones that don't always line up with any 'normal' kid's development and growth.
My husband also got Ahmad a pin that says "I am 6". We had spent all year working on speech and learning basic answers to "How are you?" and "How old are you?".
It was now time to replace "5" by "6". And that was almost automatic! We were truly surprised.

This year, we really celebrate! "LET'S GO OUT TO LEGOLAAAAND!" he says with so much joy

The car trip was filled with anticipation! Music is on, balloons in the back, me with my giant pink sunglasses. Snapchat, instagram and taking selfies, that's how we roll.
Ahmad was jumping and excited. He knew exactly where we were going...

As we arrive to Dubai Parks and Resorts parking lot, Ahmad's signature "WA-OUW" with amazement is the best and funniest silence breaker. We are finally here!
We see the buses lining up. Dubai Parks and Resorts is the region's largest integrated theme park resort comprising three theme parks and one water park. One of the parks included is LEGOLAND® Park. Because it is such a large complex, you need to get on a bus to reach the desired zone.
Upon arrival, we picked up our pre-reserved tickets (a gift from my family), then we received Legoland "Happy Birthday" stickers and to top it all off, the team there starting singing for Ahmad! I am guessing it is ritual and it went surprisingly well. We were afraid he wouldn't adjust to it, but he did!

Mini photoshoot for our birthday boy at the entrance! All is so massive, colorful and inviting.

We discovered every single bit of the park. I was on pictures and videos duty and Baba Big Hass was on "your child must be accompanied by an adult" on the rides duty lol
Ahmad had his heart set on a green dragon rollercoaster ride (suitable for his age) so all three of us jumped right in. We went through all the different zones: Factory, Lego City, Kingdoms and Imagination, Adventure and Miniland. We tried as many rides as we could, anything Ahmad pointed at. With over 40 LEGO® themed rides, shows, building experiences and LEGOLAND® attractions, it is a perfect day out for families with children aged 2-12. Even walking through the park makes you zone out from reality.

I would say that bottom line, his favorite spot was Miniland, the first ever indoor air-conditioned interactive area made up of 20 million LEGO® bricks featuring Dubai’s iconic skyline and key landmarks from around the Middle East. As kiddo has become very familiar with Dubai and its landmarks, it was simply a treat for him running around this Lego-made mini-Dubai!
"Burj Khalifa!" "Mall of Emirates!" "SkiDUBAI!" "Dubai Airport!" "METROOO!"
Hehe some of the things you might have heard him say for at least 20 min (if not more)


It was a bit of an exhausting day but 100% fun! We had to deal with tiny hints of meltdowns but nothing we couldn't set aside.
A visit to Legoland can never be complete before stopping at the Lego Store.
From the smallest keychains to complex Lego build plans! We got a couple of souvenirs and we were on our way back home. I must admit, we were also super lucky that we had breezy good weather.
As the sun went down, it started to get a little chilly. We exited Legoland and took a little walk around the resort, for a sneak peak. So much more to see, for another day...

A special day celebrating Ahmad, our little ray of sunshine!
Love my boys! Love our trio!
I wouldn't have it any other way...

Another word not everyone wants to spell out - ASD: Autism Spectrum Disorder
It is not a disease, it is a way of perceiving things.
So what is it about? Is it another one of those clichés society likes to throw at us?
-  like "Oh, he doesn't look like he has autism"
Is it because I always show my 5 year old's good side, his smiles and happy moments?

No one is trying to fool anyone. The challenge is real. The daily struggle is even more intense. It is the probabilities, the possibilities, the unexpected, the unpredictable aspect of autism that makes it so challenging. Mamahood comes with its own pack of challenges, there is no question about that. In tough times, I am lucky to have a solid support system which is my family, my friends and above all my husband. Another stereotype is taking dads as only providers. Sure it is their essential role, but society forgets how dads actually step up and switch to their "alter egos" (a good one) where they participate, they worry, they act, they are completely committed, engaged, attentive and mostly they give out that extra dose of positivity children need, bringing comfort, fun, a sense of security to the family.
My boys are a dynamic duo! The bond they have is "indescribable".
U-N-B-R-E-A-K-A-BL-E
I cannot list all the ways and situations I've seen my husband handle like a boss and didn't think "What would I do without him?" with complete pride. My little 5 year is a handful, msA. Good days are great but when tantrums and crisis mode hit it's frustrating and tiring. Parenthood is put to the test every single day, in patience, in our ability to react and respond quickly, to being instantaneously witty, to being more creative in problem solving, to physically handling and taking care of a child who isn't always aware of what is safe and what is dangerous, to communicate verbally with a precious angel who thinks, expresses himself and breathes visually. This is only a glimpse.

Our 5 year old deserves the right environment for him to thrive, to find his strengths, qualities and fields of interests. Living here in Saudi Arabia will not provide that for him. Just last month, we were in Dubai for a birthday getaway. Ahmad loves traveling. We try our best to travel at least once a year, somewhere new that could stimulate his curiosity. It makes him want to express himself more. Anyway, during our stay in Dubai we came across a couple of centers that cater to Ahmad's needs in terms of ABA therapy, activities, education and all that is necessary for him to "excel".

We are reaching out to you, a vast community of friends and family, to help us help Ahmad.
We started up an online fundraiser for him just two weeks ago. We would truly appreciate your support. Spread the word and please donate generously.
https://www.generosity.com/fundraising/fundraiser-for-our-son-ahmad--3

It is crunch time! I have so much faith in our network of friends, that you will all help us just get through this new phase. 2016: To new beginnings!