Ok, so my son Ahmad and I have technically been in confinement for over a month and a half - I lost count!
As an autism mom, I am used to spending a lot of time at home, but in this case, I am really missing the daily outings. The only person from this family of three going out is Mr. Baba, a.k.a. the hubby, mainly to take out the trash or to get groceries (check out part one of the series in case you missed it)

A few days ago, I moved my laptop from my cute office space leaving my #CURVES light box and my inspirational "be kind, think kind, stay kind" frame to go enjoy the my couch in the comfort of our living room. Since Instagram  exceptionally enabled the option to watch instalives from computers and laptops, I have been watching my favorite bloggers, and every now and then, I would pop in my husband's instalives. Always entertaining and continuous! Never a dull moment in our home, that's for sure. Once a radio host, always a radio host, no matter the circumstances. Honestly, I am happy that he is keeping busy. This confinement has inspired many ideas and initiatives for us to pursue. For me, one of these ideas was to get back to writing on my blog; and even though I haven't been as active as I would like to be, I did start and that makes me very happy.

It is 8:30 PM and I am sipping on my coffee from a pink 'Love Potion' ban.do mug and I am just reflecting on everything that has been going on, up to this point. Believe it or not, with my husband working from home now and already having numerous daily tasks I need to do with Ahmad, and cooking, and cleaning, I must say, I have a lot on my plate. But I am definitely enjoying it, as long as no one tests my patience. Although everything I do is back to back, we truly have been enjoying our time as a family. We are quite solid as a trio. We function like clockwork, when it is just the three of us. This harmonious system works for Ahmad, and that's what matters most to us.
That said, I do feel tired at the end of the day and I sometimes find myself staying up late, till the early hours of the morning, just to detach myself from my day. Disconnecting from everything and having to think about nothing is a mom's favorite kind of time out and self-care. Funny enough, this is my life every day of the year, so, quarantine, corona or no corona, the day to day is still the same. Nothing has changed really, as Ahmad and I spend a lot of time at home, following up on his personalized homeschooling and other edutainment I create for him that much up with his latest interests. It is a bit unconventional but I am pushing the limit as far as I can, to keep him driven. He is a curious little man, and he has come a long way for sure. I am so proud of him.

So what is this new temporary parallel universe the entire world is living in? I usually keep myself busy: I am so taken by my daily tasks that my anxiety doesn't peak, and I feel like I am living "normally". The news, though, can be triggering and can easily bring us back to what's going on on the ground. Reality check. Don't get me wrong, it is important to know what's happening and to keep track with the latest updates. My attitude is not a form of denial, but rather a safe bubble where I can keep my sanity and my anxiety level manageable. I am sure we are all having trouble in many aspects of our lives, trying to deal with this temporary reality. I hope you are all coping well with this unprecedented situation as much as you can. A lot of things have been running through my mind, and most of my thinking go back to our kiddo.

Kiddo getting into DJ-ing like his Baba

How do you explain what is going in the world today to a 9 year old boy with high-functioning ADHD? It's been a little bit challenging to break it down to him in terms he can understand. It is not just about him grasping what I am saying word per word, but rather also understanding the big words, the concepts of illness, quarantine, danger, corona virus, and everything revolving our recent (lack of) activities. A few weeks before the lockdown, we were still able to go out, but in a limited manner. We would go to smaller community malls where there were no crowds. The corona epidemic was under control and there were no immediate urgency to be in quarantine just yet. So going from that normality to drastic changes by cutting out all outdoor activity has no doubt left him confused. But, his kindliness surpasses everything. Children with autism are pure of heart to a degree that we might never experience, except through them. Their atypical perception of the world around them invite us into a different dimension where social queues are missed but replaced with pure and surprisingly sweet reactions, where major negative concepts of life are irrelevant in their dictionary, and where sensitivity is a universal language.

Ahmad is an expert at creating his own little bubble of fun and entertainment. He doesn't isolate himself, on the contrary, he always invites us both into it, which was never the case before. Back when he was 3 years old and we had discovered that he was on the autism spectrum, his sense of awareness of the world was nonexistent. Calling out his name and never getting a reply used to break my heart. The early signs of autism were appearing like a never-ending slide show. Luckily, my husband and I got more informed and we took action, which is a crucial step to take. Our love and dedication to better our son's life have improved his sense of awareness. His eye contact is beautifully focused, his vocabulary has expanded, and his ability to conduct a micro-discussion has also been such a blessing. Language is such a stress reliever, and with him acquiring more words, his tantrums and frustration have considerably subsided. So, in the current situation, he might not understand everything that's going on, but he gets just enough for him to continue his day to day, in a wholesome and healthy way. He doesn't complain, he doesn't ask questions, he is definitely enjoying our continuous quality time as a trio and he keeps finding new ways to keep the flow of fun going. Homeschooling sessions are one on one. Printouts and no iPad, because he already uses it during the day for videos and edutainment applications. Lately, I have been working on his lowercase handwriting and he is doing so well! I am also slowly getting him into maths, addition and subtraction. We have been using his favorite small toy cars to illustrate addition and so far so good. I am also testing his vocabulary and I just started to teach him some grammar.
" What is a noun?"... "What is a verb?".... "What is an adjective?"...

This takes me way back!

The other day, the hubby took Ahmad to try out his new scooter. It was so hot outside, but he really enjoyed that half an hour of sun. Our windows and balcony are facing the park so I was watching them from home. They both came back with tomato faces! A little thirsty, kiddo came home happy but couldn't wait to freshen up. A slice of happiness that lifted up his spirits for the rest of the day. We do what we can, with what we have. I hope you and your little ones are coping well with the situation. I wanted to wish everyone Ramadan Kareem. Already day 6, can you believe it?
A blessed month to you all!

"All went well, and luckily I have a photographic memory so guiding him through Spinneys was almost like playing a virtual game."

Lately, getting groceries is taking more preparation than ever before. It is no longer just about jotting down a quick list and crossing fingers that we don't get tempted and pick up more items, as we go through the aisles. With this invisible nemesis going around, we have come up with a thorough plan. First of all, we have decided as a family to nominate Big Hass a.k.a. Mr. Baba a.k.a Hubby as principal grocery shopper. This way, we limit unnecessary interaction with the outside and better protect our family - especially our son who is autistic. Although doctors and scientists have been saying that children have the strongest immune systems, and that in case they catch it they will only show mild symptoms and it won't affect their health as much as adults and individuals with weak immune systems and/or chronic illnesses, I would still rather be safe and keep my protective mama bear gear on. So, let's get ready...


 1- THE GROCERY LIST 
We have all seen on the news how people were stocking up and buying in bulk, leaving many shelves empty. Also, let's not forget the toilet paper frenzy! So this is what we did. We kept our routine the closest possible to normal, and so was our grocery list. We did double up on a couple of things, but that was it. The government here in UAE assured people that supermarkets have enough stocks and supplies to cater to our needs, so there was no need to panic.
Write down the items you need for a week. Meats, chicken, condiments, canned foods, etc...
Stock up on fresh fruits and vegetables (wash, chop up and put in ziplock bags for your daily cooking)
Double up on necessities. Stock up the freezer with things like frozen vegetables, fries/potatoes, and other yummies that you can easily pop in the oven to cook. 




I first visualize our trajectory in the supermarket (just as we used to take it as a family), and I write the groceries accordingly. You might think that this is weird, but as an autism family we follow a lot of patterns. Similar repetitive routines with mild changes every now and then keep our son in a flexible comfort zone. Writing the list per aisle makes things so much easier, and you make sure he covers everything. Not only do I provide him with pictures of products (yes, I am such a good wife lol) sent to his Whatsapp, but we have also decided that he wouldn't touch or carry his phone while shopping. How? Simple. Airpods! A few days ago, I stayed on the line with him, as he undertook mission impossible. All went well, and luckily I have a photographic memory so guiding him through Spinneys was almost like playing a virtual game. I was also the voice in his head lol
"This is your conscious speaking! Don't touch your face!"
Apparently, I was shouting, which is not of my character. I think sometimes my anxiety can morph into anger, anticipation and urgency. I just want everything picked up and him out of there as soon as possible, so I might have sounded a little bossy (and annoying) a few times. Sorry Habibi...


 2- YOUR GEAR 
Be mindful. Yes, that simple! This is not an extensive list of what to pack in a backpack in case your face a zombie apocalypse. Just be mindful. By being so, you will find yourself well equipped for any task at hand, especially in these challenging times. Mindfulness translate into our actions and it will automatically reflect self-respect and respect for others. You see clearer and make wiser choices, while taking into consideration your well-being and others as well. These are testing times and our ability to cross out selfishness will make us prevail.
Of course, there are a few things to keep in mind for a smooth grocery shop.
Wear comfortable clothes. Wear a mask if necessary, especially if you have allergies or have a mild cold or cough. Doctors have been advising that only individuals showing any symptoms should imperatively wear masks in public. As for everyone else, it is optional. Masks seems to be out of stock so as soon as we find some, we too will be keeping a box just for emergency. I have asked my husband to wear one when he goes out, since he is the only one stepping out to fetch what we need.
Keep a hand sanitizer 70% alcohol (spray, gel or even wipes) in your pocket.
Wear disposable gloves, if that makes you more comfortable.
Corona or no corona, I have always been guilty of wiping the shopping cart handle (OCD Mom!) and I have always felt like the weird one. Now every little thing I used to be strong minded about has become normal. My anxiety has finally found some peace.
If you don't want to use your phone, use your airpods or invest in good earbuds. In case the hubby needs to ask you something, he can call you without holding the phone. Too many extra germs that we don't need.
Do not eat while shopping! Opening a bag of chips or a chocolate bar is a big no-no. No matter how careful you are, you are bringing everything you have touched to your face and mouth.
Once you get to your car, remove mask, gloves and wash your hands with hand sanitizer before doing anything else. And as soon as you get home, wash hands thoroughly. 


 3- CHOOSE THE RIGHT TIME 
The government in the UAE has recently instated a curfew as they are carrying out a massive country-wide disinfection campaign in all public places, in order to flatten the curb and combat the spread of the corona virus. We applaud these extensive measures. You are home safe, so please don't complain. Some people don't even have a roof over their heads. We are so privileged, especially living in a country like the UAE, where security is something the government takes very seriously. Their pro-activity shows their mindfulness, their attention, their care towards us. Dubai's population is composed of 85% foreigners, catalysts of this city's growth. It is important to keep fear away from this safe ecosystem. That being said, so what time can you go shopping?
You are free to go all day, until 8 PM. Public transportation will also be open during non-curfew hours. The nightly curfew starts from 8 PM to 6 AM.
But, in case you forgot something or need to urgently get groceries or even need to go pick up something from the pharmacy during curfew hours, you have to request permission to leave home.
This permit is for essential purposes only. We have already tried it and it is perfectly thought-through and easy to do. Just follow the steps >>> https://movepermit.gov.ae/home


Please plan well and don't forget to apply for permission when needed.
In case of refusal to follow the directives of the government or violation of the #stayhome quarantine instructions, there will be fines.
Group gathering at houses are also frowned upon. Stay home with your own family, as your house is your safe space. The lockdown is not a punishment but a cautionary preventative solution .Your social life is on hold and that's ok. Try to look at it from a different perspective and you will see that there is a silver lining to this dark cloud. Just imagine the force and enlightenment we will all come out with, after all is over.


 4- WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT? 
It is all about love. As parents, we want and have a strong need to protect our children. All the scheming, the planning, the precautions, the guidelines, they are all in the aim to build a boundless bubble with an atmosphere of safety, a sense of security, of fulfillment and to be able to shield them from fear as much as we can.
When we choose to stay away from our older relatives, it is all love.
When we choose to be mindful, aware, responsible by following the precautionary guidelines, it is all love for the other. The lockdown, the curfew, the #stayhome campaign, the disinfection of public spaces and transportation, it is all love. Love with a big L. 
When we see strangers coming up with ways to support and help the needy, that's love.
A lot of things can calm us. For some, it is music, yoga or reading. Exercise and laughing release endorphins and some foods can give us momentary pleasure. But what do we do when we need inner peace? Everyone has their own way of finding inner peace but for myself and a lot of other Muslims, we find it through Allah (s.w.t) and Islam. I find peace in the verse below, “Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope,” meaning He does not ask a soul what is beyond its ability. This only demonstrates Allah’s kindness, compassion and generosity towards His creation.
See? Love. 


I know we are all feeling a bit lousy about so many banal things but make an effort every single day to express gratitude and to include something that generates calmness and happiness into your day. Let's keep spreading love towards ourselves, towards others and towards the world. Even nature is grateful that we are finally paying attention. How ironic is it that the confinement has revived it?
This grand love for humanity, make it flourish. May that seed for life and happiness always drive us and unite us, even in  the most challenging times.

When did this happen? This is something for the books! 11 bloggers unapologetically rocking their curves! It feels like it was just yesterday that I had decided to start up a new fashion community - the Middle East Plus Size Collective - one that promotes plus size fashion and body positivity in the Middle East. This crazy idea came to mind in November 2017, just one year in from when we moved the UAE. I had been scouting for fellow plus size bloggers in the region: it wasn't easy but I eventually stumbled on so many amazing beauties that shared my passion for the cause of promoting a beautiful image of plus size women in the region. Representation was needed and crucial at this point. The countries in the West have succeeded in breaking many barriers, while we are still trying to explain our ideology and demand validation from a society that is bound to ignorance and lack of tolerance.






This didn't stop us, and one of the project I am most proud of is this shoot with Boohoo MENA.
Their marketing team was so generous to offer each one of us head to toe outfits to fulfill our looks for the shoot. Their cooperation and patience was a highlight in all our eyes!
It was nice to come together this way. Have you ever seen a group photo promoting a brand in any of the media we devour every day? The answer is no. That's why I was so proud of what we had accomplished that day. Although the heat was excruciating that day, we managed to take some group and individual photos, we laughed, and we had finally met in person for the very first time! This experience will forever be a reminder of the power of togetherness, friendship and empowerment.



We thanked them then, and we thank them now.
Boohoo MENA, we appreciate you giving us a chance at a time where brands are still reluctant to invest in our passion and our strong message of body confidence.

#boohoomenaplus
#plussizefashion
#plussizebloggers
#dubaiplussizebloggers



Photo credits / Omar Tartoob

I am proud to say that I am an official Babe of Ibilola!
So what's the story? you must be wondering.


Ibilola is an inclusive Wax clothing line designed by my friend Gaëlle Prudencio, who is also the founder of the French Curves Challenge (which I have been part of since 2013) and one of the most highlighted body positive leaders in France. She has been a spokesperson for all women, for fashion beyond size and for beauty in all shapes and forms.


Her aim has always been to break stereotypes and misconceptions about bigger women, to defy and educate those who - to this day - express fat-phobia and finally, through her blog and fashion line Ibilola, she offers a beautiful fashion alternative.

Independent designers and female entrepreneurs such as Gaëlle are examples of hard work, dedication and to be honest, she is the kind of influencer that you will watch grow, follow and read and you will leave her platform charged with so much positivity. It is so contagious, it is beyond inspiring!
I admire women like her and so, supporting her brand was a no-brainer - plus the designs are just super cute!

If you have a preconceived idea about what autism parents must be like and going through, scratch it out and start again. The only way I could possibly explain to you and make sure that you understand the actual situation is if we swap brains. Borrow my mind and heart and you'll get a glimpse of the fluctuating stress level we endure, the littlest milestones that seem like we just conquered the world, the tiny victories when kiddo is able to express his basic needs in few words and short sentences, the anxiety we feel when we don't know what's wrong, the happiness when we see him smile, the blessing he is that we cherish every single day, and the list goes on. It might seem like it is "normal" parents worries and concerns, but they are not.

Our journey into parenthood has shifted away from the norms - from what society is used to - and that's ok.
My husband and I are both very familiar with going against the current, through his radio host status, his music activism and support for hip-hop and local talent, and in my case, through advocating for plus size fashion and the body positive movement, as a blogger. We have an unconventional approach to life and I think this has prepared us as parents, as we welcomed kiddo into our lives.

A big part of our strength as a family comes from our faith in Allah, and from always expressing gratitude for the numerous blessings we have, including our health, having a roof over our heads, security, togetherness, family support, and above all love. With highs, there are always lows, so I cannot sit here and only write about the good side and our strive for optimism.
Just as autism is a spectrum, life carries its beauty in different shades, from light to dark, from white to black, when sometimes wandering in the grays can be helpful transitional periods, the weak links that revive a bad situation. There is enough sugar-coating on social media to ice the world's largest fake cake, so there is no place for that in this context. Life is all about balance: there wouldn't be room for change and evolution if everything was only black or only white.

You take the good with the bad, and you go with the flow, one day at a time. It takes a great deal of energy and a handful of patience to start every day. Sometimes, unpredictable  things may occur and it could shift your day 180 degrees. You eventually master the art of adapting to any given situation and to improvise.
How to redirect a tantrum or a sticky situation to a calmer more soothing one, when in public, with a child who is hypersensitive to new environments and unfamiliar noises. Luckily, with time, kiddo has also mastered his own ways to adapt, whether through prompting (which makes him feel prepared and full of anticipation) or through his curiosity (he likes to google anything that tickles his fancy) and that helps him understand his surrounding more. Again, another example of how balance is important in life. There is always a way, and it all takes hard work, attention to details, observation, compassion and dedication. Patience, so much patience, and when you receive the colorful fruits of your high-minded actions, you feel blessed.

On another note, you also learn to ignore judgmental people and relentless stares. Your ultimate focus is your child and nothing else really matters. Strangers will walk away, nosy family members are not part of your day to day and sudden-philosophical friends will recommend a few articles and tactics, and  - as the Penguins from the animated movie Madagascar would say - you will "just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave." I wasn't always 100% confident in the beginning. I used to be very self-conscious about what people might think of him, if he were to react in this or that manner, especially when we are out. Mama instinct kicks in the second our children are born, but I switched to turbo mode, once we discovered Ahmad's diagnosis and we realized that people's opinions seriously don't matter one bit. At the end of the day, my husband and I and our little man will be going home. It is our life and we like to handle it the way we see fit, while we set a solid layer for kiddo to thrive, to explore and to experience all aspects of life.

What I hate the most is when people are just so quick to judge. My husband and I have had our share of parent shaming in public. Many think we are foreigners, because of the way we look, so the people would shame or curse at us or talk about our lack of responsibility and incapacity to "handle" our child in public, our incompetence as parents, all spoken in Arabic, thinking we wouldn't understand.
We ignored many times, but this one time it was just the last straw and my husband couldn't stand it anymore. It was one of the harshest comments and he replied in Arabic - even brought out his Saudi accent for extra shock - and they were just stunned. They froze.
They were so embarrassed when we told them that our son has autism, and there is no need for quick judgment. I hate how people are so impatient, so annoyed, so extra-unnecessarily sensitive towards things that they can either try to understand or offer to help instead.
Society is normalizing this kind of behavior, because - again - social media. We are so used to typing comments and clicking on likes and dislikes - behind the comfort of our screen. But now, words are blurred out publicly. People want everything fast. Kindness and tolerance are a virtue, use them! 
As parents and as a couple, we are very conscious individuals, we don't like to let things get out of hand, but if people step on our toes, it is 100% bear instincts.
Mama Bear and Baba Bear got kiddo covered. 

Here are some of the random things people (not family or friends) tell us:
"He doesn't look autistic"
I always don't know what to make of that comment. I find it borderline offensive.
I am not sure what they were expecting.
I know most people don't mean any harm, but to be honest, especially as a mother, I would never express such a comment. It is so raw and blunt, even coming from a nice person. It will always backfire. It would be nicer to ask something like "What does he like?" // "What's his favorite toy/game?"// "What does he like to do?"

"He must be really smart - like a genius! Is he good at math?"
This is another misconception about children on the autism spectrum. They are not all prodigies with high IQs or potential genius mathematicians.
The media and film industry has recently been tapping into characters that are on the autism spectrum, and they are all portrayed as geniuses, whether it is "The Good Doctor" or "The Accountant". Maybe a little closer to reality would be the series "Atypical" - knowing that the teen in this production is actually verbal.

"Are you worried about the future?"
Sure, I think all parents would be worried and concerned about their kids' future. But for the time being, we are trying the best we can to provide him with tools, to prepare him for life. It is all a work in progress. I guess that's what parenting is. That's what raising children is all about.
Preparing them and equipping them with confidence, power, values, ethics and always stay humble and open-minded to all possibilities, because you never know what their calling might be. You need to be their biggest support system, and believe me they will pick up on your love, as they are very intuitive.

These were the most recurring comments we get.
Some people probably don't mean any hard but they were just clumsy in their attempt to start a conversation about our son. We have no hate towards anyone, and we do like people who are genuinely interested in getting to know our son, and what it is like to be his parents.
Subtle curiosity is not a crime. We welcome it. That's how we wish to propagate our message that #autismisnotadisease,  it is a way of life. My husband uses his public appearances (as an MC), his interviews on TV, and his social media platforms to promote our life loving and message of tolerance, acceptance and love towards our son and autism.
Always shouting out our ray of sunshine.

But when comments are demeaning and charged with ignorance, despise or judgment, then obviously we don't tolerate. No one would.